Hostile Fruit
by CrimsonBobble
Summary: An all out food war at Seto Kaiba's office. SemiSequal to Grape Revolution. YY, BR, MM, and SJ


Semi-sequel to Grape Revolution. You don't have to read that to understand this, but it would be nice if you did read that. That is much better than this. I only wrote this because I wanted to see a fruit splattered Seto.  
  
Disclaimer: Don't own anything.  
  
Warnings: Shounen Ai and much stupidity  
  
Hostile Fruit:  
  
"Ummm.. How about the red kind?"  
  
"No! I won't do it."  
  
"Oh come on! I want that M&M!"  
  
"No one gets my blue chocolate but me!"  
  
"Please Ryou?"  
  
"No Yugi!"  
  
Yugi put the skittles he had been tempting Ryou with into his own mouth. "I don't see why you are so stingy with your blue M&Ms."  
  
"Cause you haven't offered the right trade yet."  
  
"Fine" Yugi dove into the bags of candy that surrounded the two. Mountains of it and nobody could figure out just where the two had gotten it. "Here we go!" Yugi's hand shot up with a brightly colored package.  
  
"What did you find?"  
  
"Starburst!"  
  
"Ohhh! Isn't the Starburst package yellow?"  
  
"No, this isn't the normal kind. Its tropical fruit!" Yugi randomly starting calling out the flavors as he opened the package. The small candies landed all over his lap.  
  
"What's the white one?"  
  
"ooooo... that's the mystery flavor."  
  
"Ok I will trade you 5 blue M&Ms for that."  
  
Yugi thought a moment. "Okay!"  
  
The transaction was completed quickly and Ryou popped the candy into his mouth while Yugi slowly sucked on his. "Yummm... Blue..."  
  
"ARGH!! I have been poisoned!!"  
  
"What are you talking about? It was pre-wrapped! My candy had your fingers all over it."  
  
"NO!! ITS WATERMELON! AHHH!!" Ryou ran out of the living room and into the bathroom.  
  
"what's the big deal?" Yugi asked once the other had returned.  
  
"I hate watermelon. Don't know why. I have just always hated it."  
  
"How can you just hate something with out a reason?"  
  
"Easily" A voice answered. Yami came down the stairs with Bakura behind him. They had gone into hiding when their hikari's had gotten so much sugar. "I hate many things."  
  
Yugi rolled his eyes. "Do you also have an un-reasoned hate of innocent fruit?"  
  
The yami went into thought a moment. "Actually yes. I hate grapes."  
  
"What!?" Bakura burst out with laughter. "HAHA. uhh. actually I hate grapes too."  
  
Everyone turned to Yugi. "Well? You are the odd one out now aren't ya?"  
  
The boy just rolled his eyes. "Whatever. I think y'all are all crazy."  
  
The phone ringing interrupted the conversation. "I'll get it!" Yugi called, and he got it. He returned shortly with a characteristic smile. "That was Joey. He's at the store and needs some help. So guess where we are going. Come on you know you want to."  
  
Yami rolled his eyes, grabbed Yugi, and followed the two white-haired boys out the door.  
  
~*~  
  
"Ryou!!" Yugi suddenly looked very frightened.  
  
"What?!?" The boy quickly looked around him in alarm.  
  
"WE LEFT THE CANDY AT HOME!"  
  
"WHAT? I THOUGHT YOU GRABBED IT!"  
  
"NOOOOO!!!"  
  
The two wailed and threw themselves at their yamis who just sighed loudly.  
  
"Don't worry little one." Yami tried to soothe Yugi. "We are going to the store remember? We can just buy more 'candy' there."  
  
The small boy sniffled a few times in his dark's arms. "Okay...OKAY!" Yugi jumped up and bounced ahead along with Ryou who had gotten the same advice.  
  
The store was reached a little later, and they quickly found Joey standing outside.  
  
"There you are! I have been waiting forever!" The blonde momentarily glared before breaking into a huge smile. "Thanks for coming, now lets get this taken care of!"  
  
"Get what taken care of?"  
  
"You mean Yugi didn't tell ya?"  
  
Yugi took this opportunity to hide behind Yami. "You can explain it yourself Joey!"  
  
Joey sighed. "Well I am going to have a small surprise dinner for Seto. I just need help shopping and preparing and eating. That's all."  
  
"You are going to throw a surprise dinner for Seto? At his business? With us there?"  
  
"Uhhh.. Now that you put it that way it doesn't seem to smart does it?"  
  
Yami slapped his forehead. "No, but it will be fun anyway."  
  
Bakura yanked the former Pharaoh off to the side. "Fun?" He hissed. "What do you mean 'fun'?"  
  
"Simple. Seto. Business. Dinner. Torture. Fun."  
  
"ohhh.." The two shared an evil grin and everyone entered the store.  
  
When they left everyone was loaded with groceries. Yugi had two bags, Ryou had three, Joey had four, and the others had lost count. Bakura and Yami had a small competition inside the store of who can carry the most bags. Marik had won. Malik had three.  
  
The gang had met the two inside racing carts down the aisles. They had crashed into several displays. Some were okay (cookies), but others were not (shampoo). Both boys smelled fruity from the shampoo, and Yugi was continuously moving away from them.  
  
The group reached the office building of Kaiba Corp, and headed to the top floor, ignoring the stares they got.  
  
"Ahhh!!" Yugi screamed as Malik tripped. He landed on the small boy, and Yugi a mouthful and a scent of the fruity smelling hair. "get him away!!"  
  
Yami quickly grabbed the confused Malik off Yugi and dumped him on Marik. "What's wrong little one?"  
  
"HIS HAIR SMELLS LIKE FRUIT PUNCH!"  
  
The three blondes stared as everyone else began to laugh.  
  
"It seems little Yugi that we have found your equivalent to our watermelons and grapes." Bakura patted him on the shoulder.  
  
Yugi grumbled something, and then spoke a little louder. "Let's continue."  
  
The group walked straight past the secretary and entered the office un- announced. The office was big and luxurious. It even had a small kitchen, and living room looking area with couches and a television. The owner looked up and smiled as he saw Joey, but the look changed to dread as he eyed the yami's. The jaw hit the floor as he saw the hikaris over burdened with grocery bags, and the head hit the desk with a bang as he saw them all enter the office.  
  
"Uhhh.. guys you better just go put the food in the kitchen over there." Joey pointed the group off while looking at his boyfriend who still wasn't moving.  
  
In the kitchen:  
  
"Yami, Bakura, and Marik, go sit over there." Yugi began dishing out the orders. "Malik you start un-packing the groceries, Ryou you can start heating up the oven, while I set aside the candy."  
  
"Yami.." Bakura whined once the hikaris were busy. "You said this wasn't going to be boring."  
  
"I know. I am thinking."  
  
"How about we go bug the secretary, scare her off, and make prank calls?"  
  
"Good idea Marik. That will be a start." Yami led the retreat. They had to sneak past the lights to get out of the office.  
  
"We made it!" Yami whispered triumphantly.  
  
"GOOD JOB PHARAOH! YOU FINALLY MANAGED TO SNEAK AWAY!"  
  
"AHH!! Marik! Shut up!!" Bakura hit the other spirit across the back of the head.  
  
"YAMI GET BACK HERE NOW!!" Came an enraged Yugi's voice.  
  
All three yamis took off running at the sounds of the one hikaris voice. They didn't stop till they were safely outside. Among the three there was a slight tradition of scaring away all the secretaries they could find in Kaiba's business. They all had a little black book full of information on each secretary, and the ways they were scared off. Yami's book was the biggest because he came the most often with Yugi.  
  
The stepped out into the hallway to find their first victim.  
  
The first person they found however just might be their last.  
  
~*~  
  
"Blasted yamis. Always have to run and make trouble." Yugi chopped the carrots like they were a yami.  
  
"Don't mutate the carrots!" Ryou saved them, but almost got his own hand cut off as Yugi started on the lettuce.  
  
"Calm down Yugi." Malik gathered the salad into a bowl. "It isn't that bad."  
  
"Oh, I will make them pay...."  
  
~*~  
  
After Joey helped the brunette recuperate from the shock he went to help the others prepare the meal. Or at least he tired, but Joey wasn't a good cook, and he ended up just being a taste tester.  
  
Seto had seen the yamis take off out the door, and knew what they were planning on doing.  
  
He followed them out to try and save the few secretaries he had left.  
  
Seto laughed at the sight that met him as he walked out of his office. His newest secretary had the yamis in their place. Mai Valetine could definitely screech loud, and after this experience Seto doubted the darks would bother his secretaries any more. He went back into the office with a smirk.  
  
~*~  
  
Seto and Joey set the table, while the lights finished cooking dinner. The yamis had slunk back inside a few minutes ago with their tails between their legs. None of them had said anything, and instead just sat down.  
  
Dinner was soon ready, and everyone ate quickly. Not much was said and conversation was rather forced. No one was really expecting what was to come.  
  
The hikaris brought out desert. Several bowls of candy and fruit were placed around the coffee table. Joey and Seto were stretched out on the couch closest to the television.  
  
The three lights quickly sat down with their yamis. Yugi and Yami had the other couch, Ryou and Bakura had a chair and ottoman, and Marik and Malik had settled on the floor between the couch and chair.  
  
"Joey, could you please bring us the surprise from the kitchen." Yugi asked sweetly.  
  
Each boy covered his others eyes, and grabbed a handful of fruit from the bowl Joey brought out.  
  
Grapes were smothered unto unsuspecting yamis faces.  
  
"YUGI!!"  
  
"RYOU!!"  
  
"MALIK!!"  
  
The shouts rang out as Joey and Seto hid behind the couch.  
  
The darks made a quick recovery. Fruit began to fly as war broke out in the middle of the CEO's office.  
  
"Ahhh! My office!!" Joey tried to grab him, but Seto couldn't be stopped as he ran out in the middle of his office/battlefield. "STOP!!"  
  
Instead of stopping as asked, the fruit changed directions, and covered the CEO. He sputtered a bit, wiped the melon out of his eyes, and cleared his throat. "THIS MEANS WAR!!!"  
  
For no particular reason he joined the yami's side. Joey joined the light side.  
  
"Mr. Kaiba?" The intercom came on but it was ignored. "Mr. Kaiba? There is someone here to see you. I am going to send him in." The message wasn't heard.  
  
The door opened, and everyone threw fruit at it in self defense. A fruit covered Mokaba stood there for a few moments, before slowly backing out of the room. "I'll come back later.."  
  
"I change my mind about hating grapes.." Yami said after they stopped. "I think I hate fruit in general." Everyone agreed.  
  
"Me and fruit have a hate/love relationship........."  
  
The End.  
  
Different than what I planned. Not really as good as the original either... Oh well. Thank you for reading and please review!! 


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